The last Dance, Maybe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To Be brutally honest im not sure where i go from here this blog was suppose to be for me and my family/friends and was suppose to about how im getting on in my quest for a better life.Unfortuantely the thing i was adament i wasn't going to discuss has taken over and has become the for front of talk among many.I wrote 2 posts last week and recieved some comments in which were 90% accurate but 10% way off the mark, but having time to digest what really was said felt that its maybe time to become less personel with certain matters.I feel very disappointed in myself to let certain things take over my life and start to destroy the very thing im trying to achieve.We decided to do this our way and felt it was right for us, having researched long and hard this was the easiest solution,i come out first then Ladypen to follow when PR is near,i was prepared for this i thought i knew what to expect the only thing you cant plan for is your emotions as many know this has been an ongoing problem for months.Unfortunately what has happened and what maybe came to a head last week was the sheer and utter resentment of the people,the drivers and most of all Canada for keeping me away from those i want to share all this with,maybe i was looking for every excuse possible to quit and go home, bitter and twisted if thats how i came across i can assure you im definately not,the only thing damaging my life is me sometimes the self descruct button is to easy to press, and believe me there are days i dont want to be in my life either.The bigger picture sometimes looks the size of a postage stamp, the short term loss long term gain feels like empty words,i struggle to unwind, i do believe its an ongoing thing,a certain person has taken it upon himself to help me in all that and speaks with good reason has certainly helped in which im truly greatful.
It isn't the people's fault, it isn't the drivers fault, and it surely isn't Canada's fault that im in this situation,the opportunties here are massive this is why ive believe its worth fighting for, there is no way i would contenplate doing all this if it wasn't,there is no way i would of missed the most important year in my daughters life,there is no way i would let my son give up a job in which he's been in for four years to come and stay with me from september, and there is no way i would want to be away from Ladypen if we didnt think this is where we want to live.Yes its more friendlier place to live a great place to bring kids up, the children seem to have respect for others, PEI has now took a very big place in my heart, yes there are bad things here too but isn't that the same everywhere else,yes i have to back track a few times maybe i was to single minded and to quick to condem certain things and places and maybe i really was looking for the exit,the easy route home,no one said it would be easy some people have maybe fitted in straight away for others it might be all so different,i read on a forum how a dutch guy said if he had to go through the first 2 1/2 yrs again he would go back to Holland he's now been here over 6, that says it all to me and now im looking forward to future and hopefully i can look back in 6 years plus and say that this is my home because i feel it really is worth it.